A Look Back and A Look Ahead

I just read the title of the last post I wrote back in January. Back in the game. More like GAME OVER!

Whoa. Life happened this year! In a big way! Babies are hard. Lots of work. Toddlers are hard. Marriage is hard (but so, so sweet). Working is hard. Winter is harsh. Summer is hot. And the dishes keep piling up in our sink.

(P.S. I love my children despite their inability - or sheer defiance! - to smile in a single dang picture.)

So, how could I begin to fill in the gaps of the last 7 months? I won't even try to achieve it. Except to say that it's been a bittersweet year. More sweet than bitter. But the bitterness was real. Yet the sweetness was abundant and sustained us. So many already precious memories and giant leaps made this year.

In case you wondered, QUIG STOPPED CRYING! I know! I can hardly believe it myself. He finally stopped being a full time punk and is now just a part-time punk like his sister.

Anyway, after years of toying with the idea, I went to work for my dad's remodeling company this past Spring.

Plus, I finally took the plunge and began working (slightly) more seriously in the interior design industry.

And John and I stopped, for a brief season, remodeling our house and allowed ourselves to just live there. That's been a gift! (Although that season is over and hello powder bath remodel!)

In the last seven months, we also watched dear friends miscarry and other dear friends give their one week old newborn baby back to Jesus in his Heavenly home. That was a big deal. It continues to be a big deal. As a mom of two precious babies, it rocked my world. It continues to call into question what I believe about my faith. Or to be clearer, it has done nothing to make me question my belief of our great God, but everything to call into question my surrender and obedience - or lack there of - to our great God. The trust I watched my friends put in their savior as they walked through what has been their darkest hour was profound. And seeing the love they had for their baby deepens the love I have for my own. But it also makes me wonder what in the heck I'm doing with my life as a mother, wife and woman. I'm so deeply selfish it's hard to even grasp what living a life in full service of God would even look like. Would it mean pushing aside my career aspirations? Or ideas about my family? Or what my house looks like and how I carry out my marriage?

Should I be working? Or just savoring time at home with Annie and Quig? I'll bluntly admit that I feel guilty leaving some mornings - though I only work part-time. The guilt is split between the guilt of leaving my kids to be (albeit very minimally) raised by someone else and the guilt of actually wanting to leave my kids for that small chunk of the week where I get to work again in a non-mom capacity. I struggle with that.

There are so many other things that have shaded our year. But not the least of which has been going to work. It's been an incredible thing in so many ways. Not to mention that this new job has completely reinspired me creatively. I've been essentially hired to do everything I love. A little interior design. A little graphic design. A little remodeling project management. And a little...blogging. Yep. I really am back in the game now. But with time already sparse, I'll be double dipping the blog in both a personal and professional capacity. And this post is supposed to outline my new rhythm. Anytime I write about something home related, I'll begin it here on this page, and you can choose to continue reading it - through a link - on our remodeling company's site. It's a brand new website that I designed and had a local company build. I'm really, really, really, really excited about it. It's looking fresh, looking fly and finally...live on the web. :)

From time to time, however, I'll still try to hop over here and do a personal post like the one you are reading right now.

But as the only blogging voice for Scovell Wolfe, the posts written here and there are virtually one and the same with the only difference being SW posts will be exclusively home related.

I've missed this space to write. There are lots of reasons I stopped writing. Time was probably the biggest reason. But there were also things that began sneaking up on me about why I was writing in the first place? Why did I care if my readership went up anyway? Was I just using the blog as a way to seek approval and affirmation? I didn't really have the energy or the time to sort through those nagging thoughts so I just stopped writing. Hoping to gain approval has always been an idol and a weakness of mine. So sometimes I just have to cut it off, rather than start down a slippery slope. But now given the platform by my dad to write for Scovell Wolfe, I'm completely pumped. I'm excited to have a good reason again to write. And a good ole recurring deadline never hurt anyone either! Plus, all this time having passed, I've got a whole slew of updates on the house that I'm excited to photograph and share.

Anyway, there you have it. Some old pictures from this past spring when we spent a week at the beach with friends and topped it off with an exhausting and expensive day at Disney World. It was real, Mickey. Really overpriced and we'll see you again in about ten years when the grandparents buy the tickets and our kids can WALK.

SO, here's to the next chapter of this blog, however that may begin to look. I'll be linking the first company blog post tomorrow.